Injury Time Out and Thoughts of “What If”

I just had to notify my partner, Lucas Wisniakowski (a.k.a. Polski Kowboy…he’s Polish and from Texas) for this weekends tournament in South Lake Tahoe that I wouldn’t be able to play due to a back injury. It crushes me to have to back out of a tournament, especially one at Zephyr Cove because it’s one of the few places where they still play big court and the party atmosphere from days of old still rocks on. In any case, injuries are a part of athletics and at this point I’m used to it and am able to remain positive and productive despite the circumstances.

My issue is a pinch feeling in my thoracic area that limits my range of motion. There is an occasional sharp localized pain also that quickly reminds me how fragile the body can be. As far as injuries go, this ain’t my first rodeo. I’ve sprained ankles (left ankle twice, right ankle three times), broke my wrist, had recurring low back and shoulder issues at one time or another and then there was the grand-daddy of all my injuries, a broken neck suffered in my early 20’s.

How’d I break my neck? I was messing around on the hard-packed sand along the shore in Pismo beach and somehow landed on my head causing a compression fracture of C6 & C7. I was in a lot of pain immediately but didn’t realize, or fathom, it was from a freakin broken neck. That night I used my backpack as a pillow and slept on the floor of a fellow competitors hotel room. The next morning I felt worse but had no choice other than to ride my motorcycle home from Pismo Beach to Santa Barbara. That ride was uncomfortable and dangerous as I couldn’t even turn my head to check blind spots. After another painful and sleepless night I decided to finally go to the hospital. They took X-rays of my neck and then a nurse swiftly put a neck collar on me and told me about the fracture as well as my treatment options – either surgery (fusion of the spine) or wearing a “halo” apparatus for 8+ weeks.

The thought of surgery on my neck pretty much freaked me out so I opted for the halo. You’ve probably seen people wearing these…it’s a poncho-like plastic vest lined with sheepskin. On the outside of the vest, lightweight metal posts attach to the vest and rise over the head like some sort of Frankensteinian scaffolding. At head-level, the halo creates four corners where titanium screws are secured and, you guessed it, screwed into my skull…an 1/8th of an inch deep in fact. The doctors applying this thing said I was the only person who could sit up while they put this on. That was until I got lightheaded and woozy from injections of anesthetic into my head where the screws were going in. What a crazy experience that was. I could actually hear my skin ripping apart as each screw anchored itself in my skull until all four screws were set, making it impossible to turn my head. This acted like a cast so my vertebrae could heal.

The halo stayed on for just over 8 weeks. This was the most uncomfortable down time I had ever experienced as an athlete, and it certainly made me think about life quite a bit. I found that a lot of my thoughts were beginning with the phrase “If I.” For example, “If I was healthy right now I’d go hiking in the mountains to take in the sights of nature and smell the fresh air” OR “If I had mobility I’d like to exercise and get stronger” OR “If I could be an athlete again I’d like to try making it in professional sports.” You get the picture. I think a lot of people who have incurred a serious injury or illness has had these kinds of thoughts. I’m lucky because I fully recovered and have since hiked several mountains, continue to exercise consistently and even played professional beach volleyball on the AVP for several years.

Once I healed up and had my mobility and strength again, my phrases started to begin with “What If” rather than “If I.” I was now empowered to feel as if I could do just about anything without restraint versus contemplating what I would do in the event I was healthy. This was a new way of thinking for me and I found it works quite well for determining the course of my life and ensuring it’s filled with health, love and happiness.

Let’s say I was pondering the notion of becoming a police officer (which I’m not). I’d simply say to myself, “What If I were to become a police officer?” That single question initiates a visualization exercise of actually being a police officer and going through a thought process that works backwards from that moment to current time. Working backwards is one of the best ways to move forward in life. When you think of the result (i.e. becoming a police officer) in practical terms, you start to think about the process involved with earning that badge which might include additional schooling, improving fitness, and passing the civil service examination for example. You might even be inspired to interview a local police officer or find out how to ride with one for a shift to see first-hand what it’s like.

The point of all this is to qualify whether or not “becoming a police officer,” or your aspiration of choice, is something that would be personally fulfilling to you. I challenge you to experiment with this “What If” concept. Use it to set your sights on something, then work backwards from the moment of achieving that goal. Ask questions along the way and listen to what your heart tells you. I’d love to get some feedback on this so please share your thoughts…which I’ll address and use in a follow up email on harnessing the power of living what I call, “The If Life.”

The Comback!

Have you done something in the past that was so fun, so personally rewarding, or felt so good to do that now you’re contemplating another go at it – a.k.a. making a comeback? After a good couple of years with a steady fitness training regimen and progressively playing better and better volleyball at the beach with friends, I think I’m ready to battle with the big boys on the AVP Tour again. This is my current reality at age 37 (turning 38 on Saturday) and I’ll share my journey with you via this Blog!

I played professional beach volleyball on the AVP Tour from the mid-90’s to 2000. While I would classify myself as a “bottom feeder” on the tour (someone who typically had to qualify into the main draw), it was still an amazing lifestyle to lead and an exhilarating experience that I’ll never forget – ever!

To me, there is nothing like competing in athletics…and the bigger the stage the better. Professional sports offer athletes the opportunity to make their wildest dreams to come true and also provides them with a sense of purpose in life through the  mental and physical efforts put forth in pursuing excellence on the court. My goal is to qualify into the main draw of an AVP tournament and go toe-to-toe with the best in the world. Since qualifiers end up playing top seeded teams, I’m sure I’d end up playing a team like Todd Rogers and Phil Dalhausser – the reigning Olympic Gold Medalists!

There are only a limited number (6 or 7) of tournaments where someone can attempt to qualify for the main draw on the AVP Tour. I’ve chosen three West Coast tournaments to be where my comeback attempt will be staged. They will be on the following dates:

• Huntington Beach – 5/21/09
• Manhattan Beach – 7/16/09
• Hermosa Beach – 8/6/09

To ramp up for these Professional events I’ll be competing locally (South Bay/Redondo Beach, CA) in high-level tournaments, starting with an Open-level tournament at Marine Street beach in Manhattan Beach, CA. This tournament is run by the California Beach Volleyball Association (CBVA) and should have at least a handful of players in it with AVP experience.

Comebacks of course are not easy and I expect this adventure to have several ups-n-downs. I’m inspired however by people like tennis legend Andre Agassi who went back through the qualifier system before becoming a top player on the ATP Tour again…and Karch Kiraly, arguably the greatest volleyball player of all time, who played competitively on the AVP Tour into his mid-40’s! So, I’m hopeful to make my dream a reality and chalk up another success story for the “old guys.”

It feels good to the soul when you follow your passions and go for your dreams. What else is there in life besides pursuing the things that make us happy? Do you have athletic goals and dreams too? Please share if you do and let’s encourage each other to reach them!

Thanks in advance for following me on this journey…and wish me luck!!!