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A TR(X)ue Love Story…
This fitness-erotica tale is about my courtship with the TRX Suspension Trainer and the everlasting love that continues to deliver an (a-hem) happy ending after every workout.
Before the sultry ways of my provocative harness known as “TRX” placed it’s spell on me, I was living it up in fitness-lust and not a bit concerned about settling down with just one piece of equipment; or as I call it “(fitness) partner.” I’m in my prime fitness years after all, and I’m going about my personal journey hand-in-hand with various training equipment. Like it or not, creepy or normal, I develop intimate relationships with my partners. Some relationships are more involved than others but in any case I ultimately seek the same thing from any partner – for them to give me at least the same amount of love (a.k.a. results) that I give to them. I give my heart and soul by consistently being engaged with every set and rep in terms of using proper technique, having good mental focus and putting forth a good ol’ heart-pumping effort.
I was on a reckless path with my fitness and like a hormonally driven teenager, I fooled around with and experimented with all kinds of willing partners. The sessions I’d have were great but random and all over the place with no consistency whatsoever. To break it down into simple terms, I wanted the pump and reached for whatever partner could give it to me. Regardless of how I got my pump on, I found myself feeling unfulfilled more often than not. The one-fitness-session-stand way of life worked well for a good pump but they weren’t very fulfilling in the long run. In the back of my mind I had always hoped for a partner that would satisfy my pump needs AND be there for me with unconditional support to rely on for years and years to come. I honestly didn’t know if such a partner existed. After all, I’ve had several past partners that showed promise at the beginning but lost their appeal within just a few sessions. I had faith that my ideal partner was somewhere out there and I needed to start looking with fresh determination and a willingness to put myself out there in order to find “the one.”
With my new found feelings of excitement and randy-ness in check, I decided to become a member of “The Gym,” which is where they have a huge selection of partners that I can choose from and get with as often as I liked. Actually, I was a bit intimidated by the volume and variety of partners to choose from at first. I wanted to hit them all in due time but where to start? Regardless of the partner I choose to go after, my goal is always to be focused, have a good performance and use techniques that would make other potential partners want to have their own pump session with me. In my first month alone I hooked up with several partners on multiple occasions including Free Weights, Cardio, Yoga, Pilates, Power Plate and a whole host of Machines. They were all attractive and enjoyable but not always readily available to me. The roughest period was during “prime time” hours where The Gym turned into a free-for-all meat market. At this time every night my partner selection was frustratingly limited and sometimes I’d have to share, or “work in” with a stranger. Sometimes this could be fun with the right stranger but to be honest I’d rather have my partner all to myself. That being said, I like the thought of working in a stranger here and there with my partner just to keep things interesting.
After a few weeks, I found myself fantasizing about partners being able to leave The Gym and come with me wherever I went, even outside or while traveling. No matter how vivid or real the fantasy was in my head, I know that this can never happen and that truly makes me sad to think about. Oftentimes the partners available to me when I’m traveling or on the road don’t give me as much pleasure as those I’m familiar with at The Gym. In fact, most of these out of town partners were downgrades of what I would normally get involved with. Other times I’d find a partner that I’d hit it off with but a long-term relationship wasn’t viable, logistically speaking…and I don’t fancy to get my pumps over the phone, Skype or webcam – I need to be intimately close with my partner.
Despite my promiscuous behavior with willy-nilly pump sessions while away from The Gym, these random sessions became increasingly less satisfying and left me wanting more…even more so than with my own harem of partners back at The Gym. I often times find myself wishing The Gym could just be available to me 24/7 and ready to go whenever I want it? Is that really too much to ask?
After frequenting The Gym for over a year I started to get bored with my usual partners and felt ready to move on. It’s not that my partners didn’t give me a good pump or turn me on anymore, it’s that we’d do it the same way every time and there wasn’t any new excitement happening. Some partners even wanted to give me a pump the exact same way each and every time! Sure, it beats a poke in the eye…but I want more.
One day I didn’t even feel like going to The Gym…the appeal wasn’t there anymore and I had pretty much lost interest. In fact, I felt myself wondering what other Gyms could offer me. The Gym has been good to me indeed and I’ve finally gotten comfortable with the fact that many other people get it on with my partners too, sometimes right in front of me. With a curiosity and hope for greener pastures however, I checked out a couple other local Gym’s to see if I was missing anything.
Gym after gym I’d see the same kind of partners that are at my disposal on a daily basis. The only differences were the name, color scheme, an occasional new accessory, and the monthly cost. While I admit that I do like high-end Gyms, the corresponding increase of cash outlay doesn’t make the pump with their partners any better than with other less-expensive partners at other gyms.
After a full week of scouting gyms and looking for my ideal partner I didn’t see a compelling reason to stray from The Gym. That night, a good friend who knew about my dilemma called me up wanting to set up a blind date with a new fitness partner called TRX. I told her I wasn’t really feeling like another partner right now and going to The Gym wasn’t where I wanted to be. My friend laughed and then told me TRX likes to hook up in The Gym but prefers sessions to be outside or in a hotel room. My jaw just about hit the floor. Could this be the partner I’ve been searching for? In my excitement I agreed to having a session with TRX and started to think of what it must be like to get a pump on wherever I wanted to…at the beach, in the mountains, in a random hotel room – how liberating!
I arrived at the park for my blind (fitness) date and began scanning the area when I spotted a sexy and slender figure with nice full and plush handles over by a gorgeous and blossoming medium-sized tree. Nervously approaching, “TRX?” I said. “Yes, you must be Chad” said TRX. As the soft voice spoke to me, I thought to myself “Am I ready for this?…can I hang with this partner?…I’m not even sure what TRX can do!…What would everyone at The Gym say?.” Then, all of a sudden, something came over me and I grabbed those irresistible handles and started going to town. Getting it on with TRX was not intuitive but it wasn’t hard to figure out either and the learning curve was like foreplay for better things to come. I started out on TRX with some basic tried and true moves but before long I discovered this was one hell of a functional partner with a willingness to experiment beyond any other partner I’ve ever had. We began to do things I’d never even thought about…it was like Kama Sutra fitness with the added element of Suspension – totally radical, totally fulfilling…and what a pump! For me, it was love at first session.
Things were going so well I decided to immediately cancel my membership to The Gym and just be a TRX man for life. I was happy with this and so was TRX. When I went down to The Gym, TRX came with me. We took a look around The Gym and before heading back to the front desk to cancel the membership TRX asked me if we might keep the membership for a while. When I asked why TRX said “so we could get it on with other partners, of course…with no commitments or weirdness.” Then she added “You know, to keep things interesting between us.” I thought, how much better could this possibly get?!?
For the next several months we got our pump on as if it were going out of style. We explored new regions of the body to stimulate and randomly included partners like bosu, med ball, power plate and weight vest. We were having the kinkiest sessions with amazing results and my new fitness-life was simply amazing. The results I was seeing were remarkable and it seemed like the fitter I got, TRX would have a new set of exercises to challenge me in ways I never could have imagined. From scorpion kicks to suspended burpees and movements that worked several body parts, TRX always seems to find a way to give me the coveted pump while keeping things interesting…to say the least.
Just when I’m about to pop the big question, TRX suggests that we continue to have an open relationship with no strings attached. TRX explains that she’s committed to me but feels it’s best if I have my freedom to choose partners that suite my immediate and long-term needs and emphasizes that we can hook up anytime for a session, literally. Whether it be for a BTN (better than nothing) workout from the door in my home, a whole body 10-exercise circuit, or a nasty 5-partner romp in the great outdoors, TRX is down for whatever, whenever. I must have done something right in this lifetime to attract such a partner. Part of me thinks laws of attraction and the act of committing to a fitness lifestyle is what led me to TRX. Whatever it is, I’m eternally grateful for our relationship and look forward to a lifetime of pump-filled sessions together.
TRX and I are now living happily ever after…and she is by far the best partner I’ve ever had or will have in my lifetime. You know, retelling this story gives me the urge for a TRX session right now…excuse me while I get my TRX on, and best of luck to you in finding your ideal (fitness) partner. In fact, feel free to have a session with my TRX…and let me know what you think. Maybe I’ll even join you sometime (wink, wink)!
Readers: Wherever you may be along your personal fitness journey, there is a single fitness product that will meet your needs and support you unconditionally now and for years to come – the TRX Suspension Trainer. I hope you find TR(X)ue love as I have and live happily ever after as well. To your highest good, cheers!